I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
