the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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