yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
