Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
