i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
