party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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