I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
