just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
there was a trapeze. enough said
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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