My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
