physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think I have vodka in my lungs
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Randomize
