I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I understand Curling. That high.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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