was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
