your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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