I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
