Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
