is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
