youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
