you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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