Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Come see our sink grown plant.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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