Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
