I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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