the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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