i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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