In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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