he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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