I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
