i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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