I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
