I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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