Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
