I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
