I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
