speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
