I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
