so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
