i was born a porn star she said
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
