Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
