haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
