He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
