She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
