i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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