I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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