Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
