These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
