Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
