I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
