Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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