East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
