If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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