In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was born a porn star she said
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
