She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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