I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
