I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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