Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
