We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
