i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
