I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
