Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
