you guys were way drunker than both of me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
