so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize