On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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