:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
