i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
