dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
me + whiskey = a bad person
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
