just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
