he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
